old friends

Its amazing no matter how old you get, the relationships you've had with friends in previous years still mean so much and come back and bring back all the emotions you felt years before.
I just learned that an old friend from high school got engaged, and all our memories rushed back to me. He has always been a good friend of mine and we have always kept in touch, seeing each other whenever he was in town or I was. Even email and other technologies weren't that frequently used between us but we remained great friends none the less and picked up where we left off each time, as if no time had passed, and now he is getting married.

If I'm being completely honest, I felt taken aback and sad. I didn't see this coming, I didn't think he would get married a long time just because he is such a free spirit. It was the first time when I felt like 'when will it be my turn'? It seems like everyone is getting married, even him, the last guy you'd think! He always seemed to want different things. I almost felt let down in a way but there were other emotions clouding my feelings as well. I quickly collected myself from these thoughts, got my wits together and realized that he was getting married and I need to be happy for him. I'm not the type to feel sorry for myself or think that I should be where others are, in fact, I want to be different. But we all have moments of weakness where we want the norm. It must be said that I am turning 30 in less than two months and single, not sure what I want when it comes to romance because sometimes having it is less romantic than not having it. Marriage has become very complicated, particularly in the past few decades, and it's an issue that I will try and write about later on.

He was always a day by day kind of guy, he didn't worry about things, it was like a getaway every time you were with him. We had discussed becoming older many times, what we would do, where we would go, and he often wanted to be at Whistler and me constantly worried about where next and the state of our world.

I've had a long life since high school, I went to university and then did a Ph.D. in another country as well, but still I value those high school friends and relationships and some are still my best friends to this day, those who value the same things. I know some people aren't like that and they detach and move and don't look back. But I'm not like that, I'm completely nostalgic and value good people very much to just let them loose.

Old friends remind you of what you meant to do, who you meant to be. They remember you and know you and know what you've become and how you got there.

So now we're older, after high school, university, grad school, jobs, and travels, and we have kept up with each other's lives and I hope we continue to do so, even though if its slightly painful that maybe not all of the things we had discussed have come to fruition and simply the fact that all those years have passed.