It seems like I was watching My Little Pony commercials last week, but it was about 20 years ago. I seriously can't believe that I was just playing with toys and now my friends have kids who are playing with toys, very different toys for the most part.
I can't stress enough that I really still feel like I should be playing with toys and that I'm not done yet. And I'm certainly not ready to be sharing toys with the new generation.
It's just really the concept of the change of toys and are memories with them or other people's memories with them. I wasn't a big fan of toys growing up. There were a few I liked, my doctor set, my pink panther, and my uncle had bought me an airplane which had the air hostesses moving back and forth inside. I loved it. I also liked playing house, and airport, and visa office. Yes visa office, thats what happens when you are raised in Iran. Its what you hear growing up. You need a visa for almost anywhere.
By going back and forth to the UK as a child around the age of 5 and up, I discovered Barbie and decided I loved it and wanted to collect them. I wasn't sure if I actually really liked Barbie or thought I should have them because it was the thing to have.
We played in the street growing up and didn't really have time for toys. I loved playing football with the kids on the street, almost every day, and toys were just time killers at that stage.
When we moved to Canada I remember thinking how silly everyone is with their obsessions of New Kids on the Block and toys that they 'must' have. Even then, as a child, it seemed like a commercial hoakes and only for the feeble minded. Saying that I do remember crying about the electric cars that were always on display at the Bay or Sears. I also cried for a piano many times and for many years. I finally got an electric piano.
So toys have come and gone and I guess I still imagine that those toys are still around. My friends and I were sitting around last weekend talking about toys and of course talking about turning 30. We reminisced about the toys that we (mostly they) played with. They all remembered most of them. Amazing how much toys we played with stick in our brains. The conversation comes up frequently now, the fact that this year is the year we end our twenties and become 30 year olds. Seems like its not us or something. Its surreal, we were just kids a little while ago! And because it happens continually, one doesn't see the stages and then all of a sudden you are 30. Amazing, unexpected, nice, and shocking. And we have the toys to prove it.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Hero bus driver
I was coming to see my parents in Richmond Hill and was on the last leg of my journey on the bus. At one of the bus stops near my destination, an old, blind Iranian man who didn't speak English was trying to get on and repeatedly said "number 5, number 5". An older lady getting on at the same time told him "no" relatively coldly and held him from coming on because it was not the #5. Others including myself didn't do anything, we were a bit confused because initially it looked like the old lady was with him, then when she got on and he didn't, we realised he was lost.
By this time, the bus driver had noticed and left the bus, walked up to the man to see what was wrong. He quickly realised the man was lost, took out a map and found the right way. It was somewhere around -20C outside and the bus driver didn't have a coat on. He took the blind man's arm, walked him about 50 meters to one light, crossing a large intersection south and then west to take him to his correct stop. This took around 10 minutes, and many of us on the back of the bus watched in awe. None of us had had enough in us to do what the driver did, the driver was an incredible man.
When the bus driver returned, completely frozen, and worried that he had kept people waiting, the passengers in the back who had been witness to the whole thing all started clapping. It was very touching and I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. I couldn't stop crying. Both the heroic act was making me cry and also the lost old blind man. It hurt even more that he was an immigrant, didn't speak the language, and didn't have enough money at his age to take a taxi in his condition. Leaving one's country, learning a new language, adapting, finding work, and a new network are all difficult, but for someone in that man's situation, nearly impossible. However, due to the political, economical, and social, climate of Iran, he and many others don't have a choice.
A lady in the back of the bus said she was going to write a letter to the company saying what a lovely thing the bus driver had done. I also walked up to the front of the bus when I was getting off to thank the bus driver and also to get his name to write a similar letter. He told me his name was Joe Santos and he also said that one of the men that just got off said he was going to write a complaint letter because he should have kept the bus on schedule! Wow. Are we really that terrible now? It had made me feel good that there are heroic people still out there and I was also angry at how we also have the exact opposite.
It was so emotional because I hadn't seen something so heart-warming in a long time. We become cynical as we grow older because we see so much coldness. We begin to think coldly of the people around us, and its so nice to be reminded that there is also generosity and warmth too. I promised myself I wouldn't forget that.
These acts of kindness also take a lot of courage, confidence, and bravery because people are often concerned about what others are going to think and they want to avoid the smallest chance of embarrassment. I was so proud of the bus driver that I couldn't stop crying until I got home and even then couldn't tell the story to my family without crying all over again.
I know I didn't react quickly enough to help that man, I was angry at myself for that too. It's definitely easier to stay in your own world and ignore what happens around you but if we all did that, that blind man might have stood in that corner in that freezing weather for a long time.
We can all learn from Joe Santos and if more and more of us take up his ways, we will have a world full of heros, a warmer world.
By this time, the bus driver had noticed and left the bus, walked up to the man to see what was wrong. He quickly realised the man was lost, took out a map and found the right way. It was somewhere around -20C outside and the bus driver didn't have a coat on. He took the blind man's arm, walked him about 50 meters to one light, crossing a large intersection south and then west to take him to his correct stop. This took around 10 minutes, and many of us on the back of the bus watched in awe. None of us had had enough in us to do what the driver did, the driver was an incredible man.
When the bus driver returned, completely frozen, and worried that he had kept people waiting, the passengers in the back who had been witness to the whole thing all started clapping. It was very touching and I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. I couldn't stop crying. Both the heroic act was making me cry and also the lost old blind man. It hurt even more that he was an immigrant, didn't speak the language, and didn't have enough money at his age to take a taxi in his condition. Leaving one's country, learning a new language, adapting, finding work, and a new network are all difficult, but for someone in that man's situation, nearly impossible. However, due to the political, economical, and social, climate of Iran, he and many others don't have a choice.
A lady in the back of the bus said she was going to write a letter to the company saying what a lovely thing the bus driver had done. I also walked up to the front of the bus when I was getting off to thank the bus driver and also to get his name to write a similar letter. He told me his name was Joe Santos and he also said that one of the men that just got off said he was going to write a complaint letter because he should have kept the bus on schedule! Wow. Are we really that terrible now? It had made me feel good that there are heroic people still out there and I was also angry at how we also have the exact opposite.
It was so emotional because I hadn't seen something so heart-warming in a long time. We become cynical as we grow older because we see so much coldness. We begin to think coldly of the people around us, and its so nice to be reminded that there is also generosity and warmth too. I promised myself I wouldn't forget that.
These acts of kindness also take a lot of courage, confidence, and bravery because people are often concerned about what others are going to think and they want to avoid the smallest chance of embarrassment. I was so proud of the bus driver that I couldn't stop crying until I got home and even then couldn't tell the story to my family without crying all over again.
I know I didn't react quickly enough to help that man, I was angry at myself for that too. It's definitely easier to stay in your own world and ignore what happens around you but if we all did that, that blind man might have stood in that corner in that freezing weather for a long time.
We can all learn from Joe Santos and if more and more of us take up his ways, we will have a world full of heros, a warmer world.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
the love mess
Apart from being obsessed with the global issues of hunger, international relations, natural disasters, poverty, and disease, I also tend to worry about my career sometimes, and at times when time permits, thoughts of my own personal life sneak in and remind me that I'm 30 and single.
There are the obvious social pressures that come with being a single female approaching 30, especially coming from an Iranian family, even a very cool one. Many of my friends from high school are married, some with children, and once out of my downtown bubble of work and fun (now that I live downtown and away from the suburbs), I am often face to face with it.
We have created a right mess of love in the past few decades and it is getting worse. It seems that if we remain single into our late twenties, people start to lose their faith, become jaded, and begin to lose their ways in love and trust. It's a mix of factors I believe. One in which women are more responsible for than men. I feel that men lack the respect they used to have for women, they don't hunger and lust for women as they used to, and as a result, chivalry is very dead, romance is dead, and I believe this results in the failure of relationships and marriages.
It is perhaps that women have made it easy for men to "get what they want". It really is a supply and demand issue and if something is very easy to get, then demand for it will fain. Many women are making it more difficult for others because they take relationships lightly, don't demand respect and responsibility from men, and thus men get trained that way.
Also media does not help by making it look like we all have an abundance of choice and thus people don't fight to save anything, they lose interest and give up fast.
I have come across many men recently that have a very bad view of women, how they 'love drama', 'act crazy', 'don't care', etc. This is a vicious cycle because if men are mistreating women (as a result of women mistreating them perhaps), then women learn that 'men are assholes' and in return learn to behave badly.
As a single female approaching the 30th year of my life I find that men don't appreciate women any more. Men also don't put themselves out there and ask women out or go for what they really want, it is as if they are too scared now, pride and embarrassment seem to win over the matters of the heart. Is it that they aren't facing bears and lions anymore that they have lost their courage and sense of risk-taking? Especially those that are a bit attractive, they do nothing at all, and wait for the women to come to them, and it works for them, and strangely they are happy with the women that approach them, not their ideal perhaps, but at least they didn't have to put themselves out there! It seems like the women are doing all the work now.
If you're a shy woman, then you're out of luck.
The men need to take back their old ways, become the romantic, chivalrous, hunters they used to be. After all, even though socially things may have changed, biologically we are still the same hunter-gatherers. Women still look for someone to 'protect' them, and that means a man of good genes, of high intelligence, and someone that can support them and their offspring. And men need women who are nurturing, caring, and can form the base of the family unit.
We are ignoring our genes at our peril!
There are the obvious social pressures that come with being a single female approaching 30, especially coming from an Iranian family, even a very cool one. Many of my friends from high school are married, some with children, and once out of my downtown bubble of work and fun (now that I live downtown and away from the suburbs), I am often face to face with it.
We have created a right mess of love in the past few decades and it is getting worse. It seems that if we remain single into our late twenties, people start to lose their faith, become jaded, and begin to lose their ways in love and trust. It's a mix of factors I believe. One in which women are more responsible for than men. I feel that men lack the respect they used to have for women, they don't hunger and lust for women as they used to, and as a result, chivalry is very dead, romance is dead, and I believe this results in the failure of relationships and marriages.
It is perhaps that women have made it easy for men to "get what they want". It really is a supply and demand issue and if something is very easy to get, then demand for it will fain. Many women are making it more difficult for others because they take relationships lightly, don't demand respect and responsibility from men, and thus men get trained that way.
Also media does not help by making it look like we all have an abundance of choice and thus people don't fight to save anything, they lose interest and give up fast.
I have come across many men recently that have a very bad view of women, how they 'love drama', 'act crazy', 'don't care', etc. This is a vicious cycle because if men are mistreating women (as a result of women mistreating them perhaps), then women learn that 'men are assholes' and in return learn to behave badly.
As a single female approaching the 30th year of my life I find that men don't appreciate women any more. Men also don't put themselves out there and ask women out or go for what they really want, it is as if they are too scared now, pride and embarrassment seem to win over the matters of the heart. Is it that they aren't facing bears and lions anymore that they have lost their courage and sense of risk-taking? Especially those that are a bit attractive, they do nothing at all, and wait for the women to come to them, and it works for them, and strangely they are happy with the women that approach them, not their ideal perhaps, but at least they didn't have to put themselves out there! It seems like the women are doing all the work now.
If you're a shy woman, then you're out of luck.
The men need to take back their old ways, become the romantic, chivalrous, hunters they used to be. After all, even though socially things may have changed, biologically we are still the same hunter-gatherers. Women still look for someone to 'protect' them, and that means a man of good genes, of high intelligence, and someone that can support them and their offspring. And men need women who are nurturing, caring, and can form the base of the family unit.
We are ignoring our genes at our peril!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
whatever happened to the flying cars?
Science fiction is not for me, I'm a realist and can't put up with other people's imaginations. However, I do like to listen to scientists and engineers talk about what is possible down the road.
My first ten years were in the eighties and predictions about flying cars by the new millenium were common. We would have flying cars, extremely active and intelligent robots that could do almost anything, and many space predictions. Most of the predictions have not come true, however, other things have come about, mostly those that no one even dreamed about.
Did we forget about the flying cars or space or the robots? Well no, robots are still popular and becoming better and better although nowhere near what we had predicted by now. Space is still cool but it seems like there is lots of trouble to get any further and lots of money involved, so progress is excruciatingly slow to the point that people lose their interest and figure it won't be in their lifetimes. Flying cars, well yes, it seems like we have abandoned that one and maybe not for bad reason, it might be difficult to control traffic in busy areas. We at least now have a spaceship for tourists.
What are we predicting for the next thirty years? We have learned that we cannot predict very well so I haven't seen or heard many outlandish predictions in the past ten years. We know that computer chips are going to get smaller, quantum computing might have a say soon, especially in cryptography, but apart from computers and their constant improvement, I haven't heard of any bogus claims. And science fiction seems to be scared. You've got to be careful in what you imagine these days, it might seem very silly very soon.
I hope the world keeps dreaming, re-making science a top priority, and not for wars and weapons, but for medical and social progress. We need more dreamers like Richard Branson, to make realistic imagination a reality. I wonder who will be the headliners, the dreamers, and the do-ers of the next little while. We have had a crazy ride in the past decade technologically and I can't imagine that we will stop. I just want it to be directed in the right direction.
My first ten years were in the eighties and predictions about flying cars by the new millenium were common. We would have flying cars, extremely active and intelligent robots that could do almost anything, and many space predictions. Most of the predictions have not come true, however, other things have come about, mostly those that no one even dreamed about.
Did we forget about the flying cars or space or the robots? Well no, robots are still popular and becoming better and better although nowhere near what we had predicted by now. Space is still cool but it seems like there is lots of trouble to get any further and lots of money involved, so progress is excruciatingly slow to the point that people lose their interest and figure it won't be in their lifetimes. Flying cars, well yes, it seems like we have abandoned that one and maybe not for bad reason, it might be difficult to control traffic in busy areas. We at least now have a spaceship for tourists.
What are we predicting for the next thirty years? We have learned that we cannot predict very well so I haven't seen or heard many outlandish predictions in the past ten years. We know that computer chips are going to get smaller, quantum computing might have a say soon, especially in cryptography, but apart from computers and their constant improvement, I haven't heard of any bogus claims. And science fiction seems to be scared. You've got to be careful in what you imagine these days, it might seem very silly very soon.
I hope the world keeps dreaming, re-making science a top priority, and not for wars and weapons, but for medical and social progress. We need more dreamers like Richard Branson, to make realistic imagination a reality. I wonder who will be the headliners, the dreamers, and the do-ers of the next little while. We have had a crazy ride in the past decade technologically and I can't imagine that we will stop. I just want it to be directed in the right direction.
old friends
Its amazing no matter how old you get, the relationships you've had with friends in previous years still mean so much and come back and bring back all the emotions you felt years before.
I just learned that an old friend from high school got engaged, and all our memories rushed back to me. He has always been a good friend of mine and we have always kept in touch, seeing each other whenever he was in town or I was. Even email and other technologies weren't that frequently used between us but we remained great friends none the less and picked up where we left off each time, as if no time had passed, and now he is getting married.
If I'm being completely honest, I felt taken aback and sad. I didn't see this coming, I didn't think he would get married a long time just because he is such a free spirit. It was the first time when I felt like 'when will it be my turn'? It seems like everyone is getting married, even him, the last guy you'd think! He always seemed to want different things. I almost felt let down in a way but there were other emotions clouding my feelings as well. I quickly collected myself from these thoughts, got my wits together and realized that he was getting married and I need to be happy for him. I'm not the type to feel sorry for myself or think that I should be where others are, in fact, I want to be different. But we all have moments of weakness where we want the norm. It must be said that I am turning 30 in less than two months and single, not sure what I want when it comes to romance because sometimes having it is less romantic than not having it. Marriage has become very complicated, particularly in the past few decades, and it's an issue that I will try and write about later on.
He was always a day by day kind of guy, he didn't worry about things, it was like a getaway every time you were with him. We had discussed becoming older many times, what we would do, where we would go, and he often wanted to be at Whistler and me constantly worried about where next and the state of our world.
I've had a long life since high school, I went to university and then did a Ph.D. in another country as well, but still I value those high school friends and relationships and some are still my best friends to this day, those who value the same things. I know some people aren't like that and they detach and move and don't look back. But I'm not like that, I'm completely nostalgic and value good people very much to just let them loose.
Old friends remind you of what you meant to do, who you meant to be. They remember you and know you and know what you've become and how you got there.
So now we're older, after high school, university, grad school, jobs, and travels, and we have kept up with each other's lives and I hope we continue to do so, even though if its slightly painful that maybe not all of the things we had discussed have come to fruition and simply the fact that all those years have passed.
I just learned that an old friend from high school got engaged, and all our memories rushed back to me. He has always been a good friend of mine and we have always kept in touch, seeing each other whenever he was in town or I was. Even email and other technologies weren't that frequently used between us but we remained great friends none the less and picked up where we left off each time, as if no time had passed, and now he is getting married.
If I'm being completely honest, I felt taken aback and sad. I didn't see this coming, I didn't think he would get married a long time just because he is such a free spirit. It was the first time when I felt like 'when will it be my turn'? It seems like everyone is getting married, even him, the last guy you'd think! He always seemed to want different things. I almost felt let down in a way but there were other emotions clouding my feelings as well. I quickly collected myself from these thoughts, got my wits together and realized that he was getting married and I need to be happy for him. I'm not the type to feel sorry for myself or think that I should be where others are, in fact, I want to be different. But we all have moments of weakness where we want the norm. It must be said that I am turning 30 in less than two months and single, not sure what I want when it comes to romance because sometimes having it is less romantic than not having it. Marriage has become very complicated, particularly in the past few decades, and it's an issue that I will try and write about later on.
He was always a day by day kind of guy, he didn't worry about things, it was like a getaway every time you were with him. We had discussed becoming older many times, what we would do, where we would go, and he often wanted to be at Whistler and me constantly worried about where next and the state of our world.
I've had a long life since high school, I went to university and then did a Ph.D. in another country as well, but still I value those high school friends and relationships and some are still my best friends to this day, those who value the same things. I know some people aren't like that and they detach and move and don't look back. But I'm not like that, I'm completely nostalgic and value good people very much to just let them loose.
Old friends remind you of what you meant to do, who you meant to be. They remember you and know you and know what you've become and how you got there.
So now we're older, after high school, university, grad school, jobs, and travels, and we have kept up with each other's lives and I hope we continue to do so, even though if its slightly painful that maybe not all of the things we had discussed have come to fruition and simply the fact that all those years have passed.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Our highschool year remembers that we are turning 30
Somebody mentioned it today on Facebook, a friend from high school....'does anyone care that we are turning 30 this year!'. We all are stumped that we are turning 30 and some don't feel any different than we did then. It reminds one that it was about 15 years ago when we started high school.
Maybe the one's who have married and have children feel differently than they did then, but I certainly do not.
I remember when it was our sweet sixteens, the entire year at high school seemed to have a huge party to celebrate the big year. After that we have gone on to celebrate many more big birthdays and up and coming is our 30th.
Facebook has brought the same people closer together again, I know what they're all doing, it feels like I'm in high school, university, and grad school all at the same time. I'm not sure how connected I would be or would know so much about some of these friends as I do now. But in a way it reminds one constantly of one's age. I even have several elementary school friends on there not just the one's in Canada, but the one's in Iran from before I moved to Canada, so from grades one to four!
To all the dear friends I have known in my first 29 years, its nice to have them all on record and at hand in some electronic way or another. As well as the numerous other things that have changed in the past three decades, friendships have also evolved to more electronic forms.
Less personal in most cases but much greater reach.
Maybe the one's who have married and have children feel differently than they did then, but I certainly do not.
I remember when it was our sweet sixteens, the entire year at high school seemed to have a huge party to celebrate the big year. After that we have gone on to celebrate many more big birthdays and up and coming is our 30th.
Facebook has brought the same people closer together again, I know what they're all doing, it feels like I'm in high school, university, and grad school all at the same time. I'm not sure how connected I would be or would know so much about some of these friends as I do now. But in a way it reminds one constantly of one's age. I even have several elementary school friends on there not just the one's in Canada, but the one's in Iran from before I moved to Canada, so from grades one to four!
To all the dear friends I have known in my first 29 years, its nice to have them all on record and at hand in some electronic way or another. As well as the numerous other things that have changed in the past three decades, friendships have also evolved to more electronic forms.
Less personal in most cases but much greater reach.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
First Sunday before Monday of 2010
Today I was working on a prototype of an invention of mine at home with my parents. My mom was helping me with the actual making of it while my dad and sister where throwing in words of wisdom here and there. Too many cooks, but it was very good family fun. I can't tell you about the invention, it's embarrassing, but hopefully it will make it to your homes sooner or later.
It has become a world of get-rich quick thinking with the advent of the internet and with access of any one person to the internet-using world. Posting You-tube videos can make you a star over night, having a website of a product gives you access to everyone without having to go through the usual channels, you can publish your own book, and so on. All of this is great in one way but for someone like me, its just more pressure, especially as I inch towards thirty. If I could just focus on one thing, I could get it out there and get rich and help the world, but which one thing? I am interested in so many things, I feel stretched in so many directions. Anyways for now I'm trying to see what I can do with this invention because personally I really need it myself.
I always thought I'd be a millionaire by the time I was 16, then I extended it to 20, then thirty and I'm still not there, not even close. Logically thinking, I am very driven, very educated, and have great ideas (I think so anyway) and energy, but so far I haven't had any success of that sort. Seems unfair, too much having to do with luck, too much randomness, and chaos based events in our world. It would have been much better if there was a formula. I remind myself often that I have done a lot for my first 29 years, but I guess I'm not satisfied, and I also remind myself it's important to be satisfied with the things I have accomplished. I don't know if with each year one learns to be more appreciative of life or one develops higher expectations of oneself. Either way I have to keep trying to change the world, get rich, and do whatever I can. The meaning of 'life is too short' is starting to hit harder than it used to.
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